Thesis statement viability
3 more positive indicators
A good thesis sentence is likely to produce a good paper. The most
important marks of a potentially viable thesis are easy to spot.
Students will have little trouble learning the first two.
However, they will need a fair amount of writing practice before
they see the importance of the later items.
If you missed the first
four signs of a good thesis statement, click here to catch that
discussion.
To help you understand the finer points, I'll give you some examples
of a thesis statement before and after editing.
5) Active voice
Passive constructions are wishy-washy. They obscure responsibility.
For example, the passive voice statement "cats should be licensed"
doesn't say who needs to do the licensing. Rephrasing the sentence
in active voice will make clear (to the writer as well as to readers)
what the writer is really talking about.
An active voice construction will also suggest who the essay's
intended reader is.
"Cat owners in Bigger City should license their cats."
suggests that the essay is aimed at cat owners. By contrast,
"Bigger City Council should require owners to license their
cats."
is probably aimed at the council members.
6) Lack of compound constructions
Be wary of any working thesis that contains the word and.
Using a compound subject or compound verb complicates the process
of gathering and organizing material.
Compare these two examples of a thesis statement:
#1 Bigg City School should remove the soda and candy machines
and put in a salad bar at its middle and high schools.
#2 Bigg City School should offer only healthy food choices in
its facilities.
The first statement requires the writer to talk about
- Removing soda machines,
- Removing candy machines,
- Putting in a salad bar at the middle school,
- Putting in a salad bar at the high school.
That's a headache waiting to happen.
By substituting broader terms for the compound elements, the second
sentence
If writers skimp on evidence for one part of a compound, readers
may suspect the evidence doesn't exist. That's hardly a good impression,
is it?
7) Debatable phrasing
Thesis statements should be worded in neutral terms, free of inflammatory
language. Such wording encourages debate. (A debate is a discussion
in which two people take opposite positions. Each uses evidence
and logic to bolster her position and to refute her opponent's points.)
Also, the thesis should be worded so that a reasonable person using
the same definitions of terms could argue for the opposition
position.
Some statements cannot be debated because their flip side is not
supportable. Such statements include
Students have a great deal of difficulty framing debatable theses.
Fortunately, they rarely need to know how to write a thesis that
is genuinely debatable.
A truly debatable thesis is required only for argument
essays. Students may write one true argument essay toward the
end of high school and a couple more if they go to college.
If students get even the flavor of this seventh sign, that will
be enough to keep them afloat in most writing situations.
Teaching tip for good thesis signs
You may be tempted to teach the seven characteristics when you
first teach students how to write a thesis.
Don't.
Students can learn how to write a thesis and how to use one without
that lecture. They either learn the characteristics for themselves
or they don't learn them at all.
Even your bright students will learn best by going through the
writing process many times. Wait it out.
However, you may slip a reference to the thesis into your teaching
about topics other than writing. For example, you can mention the
thesis when you discuss grammatical concepts like active voice,
complete sentence, compound sentence, etc.
Those sorts of curricular
cross references are helpful to students and they don't waste your
time. They might even help students learn faster how to write
a good thesis statement.
created 19-Feb-2008; updated: 18-Aug-2008
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