Tiny tweak avoids confusion
in writing skeleton™ outline for essay

The writing skeleton™ outline for an essay sometimes gives the wrong impression of what the writer intends to discuss.

This happens perhaps 1 in 10 times. When it occurs, the problem is not in the writing skeleton™ but in the working thesis sentence.

The first job of a writing skeleton™ is to help writers determine if they have a clear thesis that will produce a decent paper.

The built-in testing function of the writing skeleton™ is what makes it so different from the typical outline for an essay — and so much better for teaching writing to beginning essayists.

An example of a false impression

Suppose Caitlin's working thesis is this:

In My Friend Flicka, O'Hara shows a boy's attempt to please his father while expressing his own individuality.

Transformed that into a writing skeleton™, each point would begin like this:

In My Friend Flicka, O'Hara shows a boy's attempt to please his father while expressing his own individuality because ___________.

The grammar of that sentence makes it appear that Caitlin's essay will be about O'Hara's motive for writing.

The subject of that sentence is O'Hara and its verb is shows. The clause beginning with because functions as an adverb modifying the verb. In other words, the reason that goes in the blank is the reason for showing.

The intention was . . .

I suspect that what Caitlin really intends is to explain why she considers that the central conflict of the novel. English teachers are more likely to ask about a novel's theme than about the author's motivation in writing a novel on a theme.

I can hear you thinking, why is that distinction important?

First of all, there's a difference in the kind of work the writer would have to do. To determine the author's motive would require using sources other than the novel. The book's theme could be discussed without reference to source other than the novel itself.

Secondly, there's the matter of reader expectations. If a writer signals that she's going to discuss one thesis and then discusses a different one, a reader can get testy — especially if the reader is an English teacher.

Finally — and most important — the writing skeleton™ is not an outline for essay that somebody could write; it is the plan a particular student (Caitlin) is going to write. The writing skeleton™ needs to state clearly what Caitlin intends to write. That means Caitlin needs to be sure what her plan is.

Tip: Add three little words

To make sure the working thesis is clear before preparing an outline, add three words: I know that.

Here's Caitlin's original thesis sentence with the three little words added:

I know that in My Friend Flicka, O'Hara shows a boy's attempt to please his father while expressing his own individuality.

Each of the supporting points for the working thesis would read like this:

I know that in My Friend Flicka, O'Hara shows a boy's attempt to please his father while expressing his own individuality because ____________.

In that revision, the grammar makes clear that the writer is about to give one reason she knows her thesis is true.

Teach by modeling

You could add the three little words into your outline for an essay format if you wish. To be honest, however, that doesn't help the students who most need help. The subtleties of grammar go right over their heads.

A more useful technique is to model essay planning strategies for students. Here's what to do.

Alert students in advance to pay attention to the question they instinctively want to ask to get at the reasons the author has for supporting his or her thesis.

Then, working with an advanced student or fellow teacher as a partner, ask your partner to state her working thesis. Then ask a question to draw out the writer's reasons for believing that working thesis is true.

If the thesis is something like

The school board should . . . . .

the instinctive question is to ask, "Why should they?" (That response means the standard writing skeleton™ will work fine.)

If the thesis is something like

The school board's job is . . . . .

the instinctive question is, "How do you know?"

That instinctive "how do you know?" response means the writers need to add the three little words to the skeletal outline for the essay and check it again.

If the added words make the writer's thesis clear, the three words stay.

If the added words change the meaning the writer intended, the writer needs to rewrite the entire working thesis sentence from scratch.

Obviously, the modeling activity requires you to select or plant some theses that will allow you to show the different kinds of responses different wordings suggest.